I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize