Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
