There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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