I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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