there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
