Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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