grandma shit on top of the toilet
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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