How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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