My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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