The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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