i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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