school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
