I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
