Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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