Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I have aggressive nipples.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
