Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize