found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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