My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
