break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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