Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
