I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
