and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My vagina is officially offended.
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