Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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