I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
