OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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