Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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