Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
