bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
