Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
