I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
