On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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