Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
