I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
