CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
