Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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