just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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