I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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