Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
