Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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