This girl is more easily done than said...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
