I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
