I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
