and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
