He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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