I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
