very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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