Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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