please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize