Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
