In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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