I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
