even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
