Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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