no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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