tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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