sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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