You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
