Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
