we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
And then my night got REAL pukey
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
