but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she peed on how many people?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
