he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
