no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
