I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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