pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
