I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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