Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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