1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
