is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
where are my eyebrows?
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